How to write like an Oxford philosopher: No1

In the case where all, taken in its existential (or Aristotelian) sense, informational or otherwise potentially epistemically positive content, upon subjection to a scale that may be arbitrary only within the norms designated by those linguistic and communicatory constraints the scope of which renders them in government of the situation or circumstance that is coextensive with the union of any events of a canonical character (bounded by a likewise determined temporal interval), is revealed to fail to satisfy what may commonly be called the apparent sufficiency constraint; that is, in a given situation where that which is understood as the actualisation in script form of states held of predominantly mental disposition (although it is not here disregarded that the phenomenon in question may also be a function of states pertained, and giving effect, from within a system of extensively physical character: we remain neutral on this question for purposes of generality) is suggestive of a lacking (or maybe, a failing) in the mechanics of those processes or cognitive powers which brought about the aforementioned actualisation (through possibly indirect causal processes or bearing a merely mitigating rǒle in the progression of the appropriate causal system), certain steps or courses of action should be engaged - which we shall see as the enchargement of the constraint referred to above - these actions, by which the undesirable situation is to be rectified, are such that their application will elevate the standard achieved by the work in question to a level closer to the ideal subjectively ascribed to the written exercise considered as a whole; the following recommendations, it should be warned, are not an attempt to give a theory of the phenomenon but are merely some thoughts on the matter for purposes of further research.

The recommendations centre around the generation of extra objects of a verbal disposition in written form, satisfying conditions (e.g. being relevant and, in some appropriate sense, expositional) imposed on any such generation by the state created though the actions and events that constituted the original attempt at achieving (this is meant extensionally rather than intentionally) a work conforming to the apparent sufficiency constraint; these conditions being accepted, the said generation will ensure that the final product, with reference to the philosophical or informational content, i.e. the epistemic value (taken in a broad sense), is such that all constraints and conditions are met; in particular the a.s. (apparent sufficiency) constraint mentioned above: to wit, the potential substantial nature of that to which the exercise was aimed from the start will be realised without a loss of content or cognitive rǒle, this is indeed plain to see for a little thought will reveal that the insertion or injection of such entities (of verbal nature), when considered with reference to the said conditions, will not only satisfy the constraint that worried us at the start of this inquiry but will incur no effect on the standing of the conceptual or informational (or both) system the creation of which was necessitated by (possibly) other influences on the said context or situation considered in abstract.

i.e.

If the argument is too short, gas.

No2

It is begged of you to behove yourself to ensure that all auditory input inducing processes are maintained at parameters below those standardly ascribed to the current process of engagement; to wit, that those activities, occupying an appropriately bounded temporal interval, by which the physical applications of sub- or otherwise conscious mental processes manifest themselves in actuality, on which a non-arbitrary and contextually relevant scale of measure is superimposed, should be reduced to a level (on the aforementioned scale) that satisfies the following constraint: it remains (of a duration in comparison to which the temporal interval mentioned above fails to fall into excess) in a possibly dynamic state but nonetheless never achieving a maximum of magnitude surpassing the norms designated by those forces the scope of which renders them in government of the situation or circumstance that is coextensive with that temporal distribution.

A physically (although it is not here disregarded that the phenomenon in question may also be a function of states pertained, and giving effect, from within a state of predominantly mental character) afflicted somnic state is, and has been maintained, restricted to an interval of extent beyond the cognition of this caveat, by a member of the species homo sapiens occupying the social status (through non-chosen genetic and biological systems under which the member is caused to operate) of an infant as classed by the literal reading of the classical segment of the term's etymological history (this is, of course, written in the mode concerning the social bindings of the aforementioned species).

i.e.

Quiet, there is a baby asleep.